Monday, April 27, 2009

An Open Letter to the Internet

I mean, what are blogs for right?

So I quit reading VG Cats a long time ago when the author pretty much told everyone who didn't like his comic to go fuck themselves. It's a gaming comic that is pretty fucking shallow, which is to say it's extremely fucking shallow intellectually overall. The problem with VG Cats, besides it's animu bullshit and shitty fanbase, is that it's totally unoriginal. The most recent one (which spawned this rant) is basically a rehashed series of Penny Arcades that are eight fucking years old. Both comics are about dealing with the age old gamer paradox of "casual" vs. "hardcore" games; the idea that the fact that everyone plays games dilutes the inherent nobility in the pasttime. As me and Parker found out working on Tea Time, in the webcomic world, "Penny Arcade did it" is defiently as aplicable as "The Simpsons" in that South Park episode, so I can't blame VG Cats for stepping on their toes, but it's more than that. It's a good example of what's wrong with it. He uses the Colbert Report's "Tonight's Word" (and a title of a Brian Posehn routine), shamelessly to rant about nothing (which we'll get to), and then aknowledges that he stole shit so you can't call him out on it (granted: that isn't a bad punchline). Furthermore, VG Cats is Scott's (the author's) full time job, but he not only is his update shedule once a week, but he misses updates notoriously enough that it's seriously like once every 3 weeks (for God's sake, there's a major recurring character that was spawned from his habit of missed updates), and after all that time the most you get is filler bullshit. I'm a full time student, and I can put out 2 comics a week. Shit, even Tim Buckley puts out like 3 comics a week, and he is an untalented peice of shit.

As for the comic in question though: Casual games are not destroying our pasttime. Not only can I hold a conversation with dudes I wouldn't have anything else in common with, but developmental costs for next gen games are enourmous, and if you make a game that sells ridiculously well then it can go to other things. That is not un-fucking-precidented, movie studios do it all the time. "When was the last time you played a really good game?", asks VG Cats. Dead Space, you asshole, produced by EA, a company that has a vice grip on the casual game market. They put all the money they made from Madden and Tiger Woods into the best new IP I've played in years (not to mention risked it on Mirror's Edge too) and got it to a mirror shine in one fucking year, and for a game that good, that is fucking impressive. Your last comic was about Fallout 3, which is like one of the best games ever made, and it just came out.

What's wrong with causal games anyway? I grew up on casual games, Spyro is not what I would describe as "hardcore". Neither is Crash or Pong or Frogger. What the fuck is "hardcore" anyway? Difficult? Fuck that shit, that's never why I played games, I'm not a sadist. Causal games can be hard too, like Rock Band on expert (or Spyro, unless your Ruth), so what does it matter?

And you know what? Fuck everyone, quicktime events are awesome.

And yes, I realize that what spawned the comic was some new show about "gamers". Fucking get over it, G4 has been on television since I was in jr. fucking high. There is always going to be shit like that, that doesn't mean the industry is in some kind of downturn.

What gets me more that anything about VG Cats though is the fucking fans. It's nowhere near the size of Penny Arcade, sure, but they are so ravenous and stupid it is like dealing with a brick wall. They refuse to acknowledge that their favorite comic is bland and unoriginal, and worst of all they can't see what a raging asshole Scott is. He misses his own pathetic update structure, and then bitches at the people who complain when he puts up a shitty comic. "This is my canvas" or "I'm giving you free entertainment" are common phrases in the webcomic artist's toolbag, but listen: Fuck you. We are the ones providing you with your fucking income from website hits. We are the reason you can afford to be such a lazy piece of shit. We pay your salary mother fucker, we buy your shirts, now make us some decent fucking comics or shut up.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Good Stuff

I have been in extremely high spirits as of recently! This isn't exactly uncommon because I'm not a terribly sad guy but most of the time I am a mix of content awkwardness and existential malaise. That sounds a little worse than it is. Recently though, like over the last week or so I've been feeling great, and decided to make a list of shit.
  • Weather. Colorado is fucking crazy! I love snow, I really do, which is one reason I don't ever want to leave Colorado, but I also love sunshine. This past week has had both, sometimes in the same day!
  • I have been watching Lost with Ruth and oh my, yes. Lost. Wow. (Coincidentally, I don't know what Ruth may have told you at my ability to play Playstation 1 games but it is naught but lies and slander)
  • My birthday approaches, on which I will be 20, which is weird, but I will not only be drunk when the clock strikes 12, I will also be dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi and hanging with (nearly all of) my best friends.
  • I have a new project in my sculpture class that is going to kick serious ass.
  • The cute gal with dreadlocks who draws all the time that usually sits in front of me in Art History kind of talked to me, that sure was nice.
  • I am either going to Bonaroo or on a road trip over the summer (or maybe both I dunno) so that is awesome.
The final point is Tea Time! As I mentioned in my little blog post, I wanted to try something new because markers suck, and for whatever reason I really like hatching with a pencil. It's pacifying I guess. So I found a happy medium which is shading with a ball point pen. I think it works really well, and coincidentally when I was ready to start this new style, some kind of fear I had about drawing that I was unaware I had left me, and I just kind of did it.

It was very liberating! We also got a shit load of hits and positive feedback from people about the new shit and that was very encouraging. I've had a drive to draw recently that I don't remember having for... I dunno, way too long. My good buddy Mecha also shipped all of his books out here, cartooning books and anatomy books and the like, so I am really excited to steal them.

Today I finished the comic, finished a T-Shirt design, and also showed Mikey the design I had for a new Crow shirt, and they're going to use it! I am more than stoked! There will be pictures, worry not.

I feel like I did a lot today.

Life is good ladies and gentlemen!